A put-upon teacher in Delaware told his relatives in a letter to the editor that he wouldn’t spend Christmas with them because some, or perhaps all, of them voted for President-elect Donald Trump.
“Mike Matthews is a teacher in the Red Clay School District who openly supports his transgender and non-binary students’ right to exist,” the biographical line at the end of his letter at DelawareOnline.com says.
But he’s also the former head of the state teachers union. He lost that sinecure because of deranged commentary at his blog, which invites the obvious question of why he’s still teaching.
The Letter
Matthews’ ugly missive of December 22 suggests that he suffers from a severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome.
Though he wrote not “out of anger, but from a place of love — and exhaustion,” and allowed that “politics … shouldn’t come between family and friends,” Trump-voting relatives are just too “unbearable.”
“This is not about petty disagreements,” Matthews wrote:
It’s about the values behind those votes. A vote for Trump — twice impeached, found liable for sexual abuse and facing 91 criminal charges — is more than just a ballot. It’s a reflection of a worldview that, to many, feels fundamentally at odds with empathy, justice and compassion.
For those of us who have distanced ourselves from Trump-supporting family members, it’s not a decision we make lightly. It comes from a deep sense of betrayal, a need to preserve our mental and emotional well-being, and the refusal to stay silent in the face of harm.
Matthews instructed his Trump-voting relatives that voting is “ethical,” and therefore a vote for Orange Man Bad “signals a troubling disregard for the humanity of others — immigrants, LGBTQ+ people, people of color, women and other vulnerable groups.”
Having listed some of Trump’s imagined sins, he then attacked his relatives for their Catholic faith:
This is where the hypocrisy stings most. Many of you have spent your lives espousing strict Catholic orthodoxy, holding fast to values like humility, compassion and service to others. You’ve taught me about the sanctity of marriage, the importance of helping the poor and the moral imperative to protect the vulnerable. How, then, can you reconcile these beliefs with a vote for someone who embodies the complete opposite of these teachings?
And so, Matthews wrote, his “choice to set boundaries” between himself and his Trump-backing friends and relatives “isn’t about hatred or division. It’s about survival. It’s about refusing to sacrifice my values or diminish my humanity for the sake of forced harmony at the holiday dinner table.”
Matthews claimed that he is a member of “marginalized communities.” And their “safety [and] right to exist without fear” is at stake. So separating himself from Tribe Trump is “about waking up each day knowing that your own family might prioritize their comfort over your struggle.”
And, of course, his decision to dump his loved ones — and publish a letter about it three days before Christmas — is their fault:
Empathy isn’t passive; it’s an active choice to stand with the vulnerable, even when their pain doesn’t directly affect you.
Ask yourself: What are you willing to do to repair these relationships? Are you willing to examine your privilege, to acknowledge the harm caused by your political choices, and to commit to meaningful change? Healing is possible, but it requires accountability, not just from those who’ve been hurt, but from those whose actions caused the fracture.
For now, I’m choosing to prioritize my peace, my values, and my well-being. I hope you understand that this choice comes from love — love for myself and for the justice I believe we all deserve. …
With love and hope that we can be together again soon. …
Matthews’ Background
That a newspaper would publish such a piece is almost as incredible as Matthews having the gall to write it. He was forced to resign as head of the Delaware teachers union, after all, because of “sexist, racist, and other inflammatory remarks on his former blog,” NPR affiliated WHYY reported.
Among the blog posts the radio station verified:
- Matthews called then-Delaware Gov. Ruth Ann Minner a “Butch B**ch.” He wondered whether a video of “chocolate, caramel and vanilla brothas” gang-raping Minner would boost her poll numbers. Minner could not be reached for comment.
- He called then-House Minority Whip [Helene] Keeley “delectable” and “gorgeous” with a “come hither” look. He wrote about her “hot feminist booty” and quipped: “Come see me. I’ll have you begging to take my last name.”
- He called state Rep. Melanie George Smith “uber-hot” and wondered what she would be wearing to Legislative Hall.
- Matthews also wrote in October 2005 that “blowing all the Muslims up” perhaps isn’t such a bad idea. He suggested a child molester was justified if his wife was a “stank-ugly ho.”
- In September 2005 he wrote this about a family displaced by Hurricane Katrina being relocated to the Wilmington area on the same block as four sex offenders: “If sacrificing one of her children to a sex offenders is the cost, then her bitching is totally unwarrented (sic).”
Matthews’ angry and sometimes pathetic Facebook posts, though, are of a piece with his Yuletide dismissal of the people he supposedly cares about the most.
Not surprisingly, he lists his “pronouns” and appears to have consumed megadoses of soy.
Yale Headshrinker: Get Rid of Your Family This Holiday Season
Matthews might have gotten the idea for his op-ed piece from crackpot Yale psychiatrist Amanda Calhoun.
A couple days after Trump shellacked Vice President Kamala Harris at the polls, Calhoun appeared on MSNBC to say Harris voters should skip the holiday with relatives. The reason: “mental health.”
Calhoun denounced the “societal norm that if somebody is your family, they are entitled to your time. … The answer is, absolutely not.”
“If you are going into a situation where you have family members, where you have close friends who you know have voted in ways that are against you … it’s completely fine to not be around those people, and to tell them why,” Calhoun told far-left talker Joy Reid.
She continued:
You know, [it’s OK] to say, ‘I have a problem with the way that you voted because it went against my very livelihood, and I’m not going to be around you this holiday, I need to take some space for me.’
Neither adults nor children should be forced “to be around people just because they’re your family,” she said:
There is a need to establish boundaries, and if you feel like you need to establish boundaries with people, whether they’re your family or not … you should very much be entitled to do so. … It may be essential for your mental health.
