Boy, but it was a Red October! Polls conducted throughout the month just ended confirm that Karl Marx has won the hearts and minds of the American people. Two of his biggest fans, the New York Times and CBS News, collaborated to find 66% of Americans agreeing that “the money and wealth in this country should be more evenly distributed.”
Politicians at both the national and local levels work tirelessly to achieve that for everyone but themselves. And pollsters in New York State found overwhelming support for their efforts. When Democrats in the State Assembly proposed yet another “millionaire’s tax,” Quinnipiac University discovered that again, 66% of registered voters love that idea.
Must be something about the number 6, as in 666…
Agreement was even stronger when Siena Research Institute surveyed voters: 72% want politicians to take from each according to his ability and give to others according to their need.
Meanwhile, what are the redistributionists waiting for? Why do they need State Assemblies or, for that matter, Obama and Congress? Why don’t they just grab a weapon and rob the wealthy themselves?
That’s what we’re talking about, after all: theft. Oh, sure, politicians gussy it up with every euphemism there is so we’ll still shake their hands on Election Day and — more importantly —vote for them.
But strip away the jargon — “redistribution,” “giving back,” “taxation,” “fair share” — and you’ve got plain old violates-the-Eighth-Commandment stealing.
And as muggers prove every day, we don’t need politicians for that.
Unless our would-be thieves are queasy. Because yes, government does take the pain out of pillaging. Especially when we broaden the net to include friends and family, not just millionaires.
Which is essential. Face it: there just aren’t that many rich people anymore, thanks to theft’s popularity over the last century or so. We might be able to pension a couple hundred bureaucrats off millionaires, but what about all the other goodies the public demands from its own purse?
That’s where politicians come in handy. Not only do they supply palatable terms to describe the plunder, they also act as middlemen. That saves redistributionists the awkwardness of banging on the neighbor’s door while casually brandishing a butcher’s knife.
And the embarrassment when he answers their knock. “So, Mike,” they’d have to say were it not for our elected officials and their merciless armies of enforcers, “how ya been? How ‘bout them Jets? Hey, Mike, um, don’t take it personal or nothing, but I want your money. Yeah, I know you do, too, but see, I gotta have a cheap student-loan for my kid in college, and my subprime mortgage comes due next month… Hand it over, buddy. Lemme have the big-screen, too, while you’re at it.”
Alas, middlemen always take a cut — and in politicians’ case, it’s huge. Which makes taxation one more horribly inefficient government program.
So the fervent redistributionist may prefer to rely on himself rather than the legislature for his ill-gotten gains.
But again, the natural aversion to taking what isn’t yours kicks in. And unless the bashful bandit’s parents spent time in prison or Congress, he may not know much about the art of appropriation.
Ergo, I offer such amateurs the following tips, gleaned from my observations of Our Rulers and bank-robber Willie Sutton.
First and foremost: go where the money is. That may be tough in these recessionary times. You want a victim who’s not only employed but earning megabucks, someone who won’t kick too much while you transfer the contents of his pockets to yours because, hey, there’s plenty more where that came from. Someone like … hmmm … the average politician.
Redistribution: it isn’t just for professionals any more.
