Beach Blanket Book Suggestions
Lenore Skenazy
Article audio sponsored by The John Birch Society

Summer awaits, and with it, beaches, and with them, reads. Here are the most anticipated titles of summer 2023.

“The Body Keeps the Scone”: In this slightly less hopeful follow-up to his 2015 bestseller, Bessel van der Kolk explains how the painful aftermath of delicious but detrimental decisions at breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch, dunch, snacktime, pre-snack snacking, bed-eating and car-gorging end up stored somewhere around the belt line and chin(s). As one of the foremost experts on trauma, and a lesser light on the intricacies of metabolism, Dr. van der Kolk’s research is possibly not unhelpful for those plagued by PDSE, or “Post-Dramatic Stress Eating.” (Eating after you have binged a show, aka post-binge bingeing.) Unable to give real hope to millions, the good doctor does give some recipes for low-cal pastries made with string beans instead of butter.

“Harry Potter and The Half-Week In-Office Job Requirement”: After a long hiatus, J.K. Rowling picks up her magic pen to give us Harry in his 17th year at the Ministry of Magic. On Mondays, Tuesdays and alternate Thursdays, an increasingly pudgy Potter struggles with a Dementor-infested copying machine, ministry-wide restrictions on personal e-owls and, most vexingly, a new AI interface that threatens to make his one remaining wizard power — creating compelling quarterly e-graphs — redundant. Recommended for those who enjoyed “Harry Potter and the Muter of Zoom.”

“The 5 Trillion People You Meet in Purgatory”: They’re all here and all inspiring… more or less. The inner-city violin teacher who failed to report her tutoring income to the IRS. The baker who always gave bread to the homeless but once texted his mother to “Plz STFU!” when she started gushing about his brother’s new Tesla — again. The sweet grandma who took all the non-secured pens from the bank. Lots of stories, lots of regret and, all told, a rather sobering read.

“The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Authors”: Sit down. Start typing. Simplify. Everything you need to know to become a bes-selling business guru PLUS 28 made-up anecdotes and a couple of bar graphs. Highly recommended for office bookshelves.

“Who Moved My Leg?”: Coping with change and — more urgently — ambush amputation in the increasingly cutthroat world of office politics.

“Crying in Kmart”: When a young woman comes to Kmart for a box of Froot Loops, Pepto Bismol and a sympathy card, she must face the fact that her life is not as scintillating as she’d hoped. And that was BEFORE the PA system announced, “Loser in Aisle 7.”

“Where the Crawdads Shut Up”: Set in the swamps of North Carolina, this sequel is told from the crustacean’s point of view. When “Marsh Girl” Kya Clark is found dead, the police immediately turn their attention to the family of rich, handsome and murdered Chase Andrews. But Kya had a secret: She ate crawdads every night. The crawdads (and moms) were not happy about that. And one day, they took matters into their own claws. Quietly.

“The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo’s Husbands”: Taylor Jenkins Reid objected to the title of this sequel, claiming, “It gives the whole surprise away!” But the publishers were adamant.

“Goodnight, Prune”: The classic children’s book updated for the now-elderly kids who grew up on it.

Also of note:

“Rich Dad, Rich Granddad”: The real story of how to get ahead.

“Ready Player 3”: This time the video game is harder, and the stakes are somehow higher; don’t ask us how.

“Meh to Good”: Jim Collins’ prequel.

“The Age of Surveillance Capit… Never Mind!”: A ChatGPT memoir.

Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, a contributing writer at Reason.com, and author of Has the World Gone Skenazy? To learn more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.

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